Another Loveless Bachelor?

Ah yes it’s that time again. The time for long-stemmed roses, gratuitous make-out sessions, unfashionable cocktail dresses all resembling slutified prom wear, and of course, that bearer of bad news, host Chris Harrison, who pops up to deliver such unnecessary phrases as: “Ladies, this is the final rose”. That’s right, it’s the premiere of everyone’s favorite reality matchmaker show: The Bachelor.

I have been pretty loyally watching the show since season three with hottie Andrew Firestone, and after seeing “romance” after “romance” crumble often before each subsequent finale was broadcast (15 of the 17 Bachelor and Bachelorette seasons have ended in a breakup), it soon became hard for me to view the show as anything other than a loveless, staged vehicle for fame-whores (like Shayne Lamas) whose goal for going on the show was certainly a far cry from finding true love.

However, all my cynical skepticism fell away come last season when DeAnna Pappas changed the game entirely. Unlike so many past bachelors/ettes who seemed interested only in finding a fleeting fling, DeAnna took the show seriously – wanting a life partner as the end result of the process, and not being afraid to readily dismiss someone if she knew she couldn’t be with him for the rest of her life. I respected her approach and found her decisions mature and reasoned. I also thought her final lineup of men were all great catches who shared her desire of settling down right away (apart from that wishy-washy Graham).

As it follows, I was devastated to learn that the worst had occurred. My beautiful, perfect, glistening beacon of hope had been destroyed and with it whatever sanctity was left in the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. DeAnna and her pick Jesse broke up!

So now I ask: what little chance is there that our newest bachelor - handsome single dad, Seattleite, and DeAnna’s runner up, Jason Mesnick - will find his mythical dream woman? Alas, my disparagement toward his lofty goal is not dissuaded by reports that Jason has emerged from the show engaged. They all say that. They have to. It’s probably in their contracts. And even if he is in a happy relationship, that doesn’t mean it’s built to last.

Far be it for me to doom him, however. In fact, I truly hope Jason defies the odds and finds his perfect lady after all. He deserves it. And here are some of the single beauties who I think stand the best chance:

Stephanie – She resembles a hot alien and like Jason is a single parent so she clearly understands Jason’s fatherly responsibilities. She seems more mature than most of the women and has a good vibe. I hope she goes far.

Naomi – Quite simply, she is by far the best looking, and – superficial as this may sound – the prettiest one usually goes far. She also seems cool, though maybe just a tad too young for Jason.

Lauren – Ok, I don’t really know if she will go that far, but I thought she was super good looking and wore the best dress, which in my book earns you serious points.